美文欣赏：拥有幸福婚姻

一桩美满的婚姻并不仅仅意味着两人间的资源共享，它还会给予你更多的感情支持并赋予你迈向成功的勇气。以下是我在婚姻生活中会定期做的12件事。只要你合理地最大化地运用它们，就可以收获一桩美满的婚姻。

From my perspective, once you enter into the realm of marriage, building and maintaining a successful marriage is actually a big part of personal and financial success. A solid marriage not only results in people sharing resources together, but a marriage also provides a lot of emotional support, cheerleading, and encouragement to succeed.

What follows are twelve little things I do quite regularly in my marriage. Please, use as many of these as seem reasonable.

I tell my wife I love her every single day. I usually do it in the morning before she leaves the bedroom, and on weekdays Ill also tell her when I see her in the evening for the first time. I usually couple it with a kiss. Its so simple, but its a constant reminder of the fact that I do love her, no matter what.

I ask about her day, listen, and ask follow up questions. I do this not only so I can keep tabs on her professional life, but also to give her a great chance to vent about her situation. Everyone needs to talk about themselves sometimes to someone who is interested - I try to provide that for her as often as I can.

I try to surprise her on a regular basis. Ill spend an hour preparing a really excellent supper when she doesnt expect it. Ill spontaneously give the kids a bath when shes comfortable on the couch under a blanket, even if its her turn. Doing these little unexpected things not only shows her I care, but also often compels her to do similar things for me.

I hold her hand. I do this all the time, whenever it crosses my mind and seems appropriate. Ill just hold her hand gently while were talking or were riding in the car or were waiting for an appointment or were sitting on the couch in the evenings.

I talk about EVERYTHING with her and let her determine whats interesting. If something is concerning me, I dont hide it from her. I tell her about it. Most of the time shes interested and well discuss it - sometimes shes not and I let it drop (this is key - if shes not into the topic, I dont push it). Either way, though, she gets the message that Im making an effort to share and be open.

I work on building a positive relationship with her family. Whenever I visit or see anyone in her family, I make a special effort to try to establish or build upon a strong relationship with them. This accomplishes several things: it makes her more at ease in a family situation, it helps me to build stronger ties with people that are important to her, and it helps me to understand the influences that were around her as she grew up.

I send her messages during the day.

About once a week, during a time where my wife is really present in my thoughts, I send her a little simple note by email. All it says is something along the lines of "I was thinking about you just now. I cant wait until I see you this evening." Its just a very simple way of letting her know shes on my mind and in my heart.

I put careful thought into gifts I give her. Sure, its easy to just run out and get a generic gift to cover yourself during an anniversary or a birthday. However, a gift with some real thought behind it means substantially more than an obviously off-the-cuff gift.

I encourage her to follow her passions and interests, even if they dont inspire or interest me. If my wife chooses to spend significant time on a project, its obviously something thats important to her. That doesnt imply at all that it has to be important to me. If shes involved in her own project, I give her positive encouragement and then work on my own interests instead of saying things like "that seems like a waste of time."

If she needs me, I willingly contribute to those passions. If something genuinely excites her and she wants me to experience it, I willingly involve myself in whatever it may be: a particular type of art, a craft project, a yard project, whatever. Even if I dont enjoy it, I do have the opportunity to learn more about my wife and what shes passionate about, which means that my understanding of her grows.

I look for opportunities to build mutual friendships. The idea that there is a group of people that are "my" friends and another group that is "her" friends can be a big dividing factor between us. Instead, I often focus on building friendships and relationships that we share with others so that something of a community of friendship and love grows up around us.

I hold her every night, even if its just for a moment. I might be completely exhausted when I go to bed in the evening, but I take a moment to move close to her, put my arm around her, and hold her close, even if its just for a minute or so. That moment of physical contact to end the day is a simple sign of love.